The content of the article:
- Auto horoscope from 13 to 19 March
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Cancer
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fishes
The stars have prepared a few instructions for car enthusiasts, but the main advice for the week: smile, ignoring traffic jams and dirt (although in some regions the snow never thought to melt). These spring days are not full of holidays, but some dates are nice to celebrate. Drivers should remember about the day of sleep, which falls on Friday - that's why the traffic cops stand with their eyes half-closed, and somehow wave their wands. And, of course, the day of public utilities (hurray, hurray, hurray). Housing and communal services workers and other brethren got into expensive cars, and cheerfully make up an action plan. But they are in no hurry to ride - where to go on the weekend, and even on such terrible roads?
Auto horoscope from 13 to 19 March
Aries
Aries, there are many roads waiting for you in this week of March, and all of them are merry. But your sensitive car is not happy with the endless dancing over bumps - the iron horse dreams of a smooth one-way track. Go out of town - there are no traffic cops and nervous drivers, only a couple of active old women with their eternal little bags. But do not enter into a conversation with grandmothers - they will download the full program and tell not only about the peculiarities of planting cucumbers, but also about the president, the mayor, and even about suitable rubber. Yes, and most importantly - don't pull the shovel out of the trunk (don't be afraid, you won't have to brush off the hijackers, just in case, suddenly a snowdrift will grow in the middle of the road).
Taurus
Taurus, on these spring days the roads are shining, the traffic cops are laughing, and pedestrians are happily jumping on zebras - everything seems to be as usual. But do not lose your vigilance and try not to discuss with the guys from the traffic police. They are only seemingly kind, but they have not forgotten how to send along the known route. Traffic lights will please this week - it feels like they don't have a red flashlight at all, and a green light is on for your car all the time. Don't forget that some pedestrians are color blind, especially ladies with fancy phones. Beep louder, you can also voice your thoughts with this, if you may say so, to the princesses. On Friday, plan a visit to the car wash - the machine dreams of a bath day.
Twins
Gemini, this week signs have been posted everywhere, where a man with a shovel is depicted, and uncles are dancing nearby with tools in their hands - the day of the utility is getting closer. But do not flatter yourself, bright orange jackets do not mean that the workers have decided to clean the roads - they just rejoice in the spring sun and an extraordinary bonus (though it is not clear why). Drive boldly to the songs of your favorite Auto-radio, and head for suburban roads - it's great now, no traffic jams, no traffic cops, no asphalt. And just look in the trunk, just in case - suddenly, while the machine was resting in the garage, local cats in hare costumes were crammed into it (to get to the dacha for free).
Cancer
Raki, this week the traffic situation is stabilizing, at least the way is clear for you and your iron friend. If you want to update your wardrobe, remember about your favorite car - she also dreams of new rubber or cute seat covers, because winter plush capes are bored to hell. The engine hums, the radio sings, the wheels are spinning - here it is, driving happiness. In addition, on these March days, you will meet only with pleasant fellow travelers - silent and generous (perhaps you will come across dumb oligarchs, but it is not clear why they hitchhike, but the rich, as you know, have their own quirks).
A lion
Lions, stars nod encouragingly and turn on the ever-green traffic light - for at least seven days, road luck will be around. On the tracks, the situation is improving every day - the white landscape is gradually turning gray, and in some places green spots flash like spring-like (maybe these are not leaves at all, but the devils have scattered again?). Step on the pedals and do not stare at cute pedestrians - why admire them, suddenly fall in love, drive them later, waste precious gasoline. Yes, and the car is jealous and distrustful nowadays - an iron horse does not even want to enter the garage without you, you will have to drag a cot and tasty fuel there for a romantic dinner.
Virgo
Virgin, the grass turns green, the sun shines - or what was the poet's case? But do not be distracted and hold on tightly to the steering wheel - it is still a long way to the real spring, and the ice has not gone anywhere. Skaters now have a lot of space, and the guys on roller skates are gradually becoming more active (I wonder what they do in winter, do they really skate around the apartment so as not to lose their skills?). Traffic cops in these March days almost never take their hand away from their caps - yes, yes, they are exactly your trump card, because you are a wonderful driver, fair and accurate. You also have time to put the reckless drivers in place - the poor fellows no longer know where to go, and red and disheveled with shame drive around.
Scales
Scorpion
Scorpios celebrated the eighth of March for a long time, but some decided to extend the holiday until the end of the month. Dried bouquets stick out of the windows of the cars, and sometimes strange drivers come across with a smile from ear to ear - you see, the wives have been so thanked for the gifts that the drivers' mouths do not close. This week you will not have time to look at the landscape - the stars wish you a safe journey, and are advised to refuel with proven and high-quality gasoline. Traffic cops and pedestrians bow down in front of the happy muzzle of your iron horse - maybe the car shows its teeth, otherwise why is everyone so sucking up. But inside, nothing knocks or rattles - ride for your own pleasure.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, decorate the car with balloons, and in the cabin you can throw pillows and blankets - take a nap in traffic jams, at the same time mark a day of sleep. Just do not snore loudly so as not to wake up drivers in nearby cars. Pedestrians today are also like sleepy flies - just look, they will lie down on the zebra. True, your car is always eager to fight and is not going to mess around - the car dashingly rushes through the puddles, spraying the gaping traffic cops who do not even have time to wave the baton. Just in case, cover the numbers with mud - it's ugly, but reliable (but your neat iron horse may not like this, and it will go to the sink itself).
Capricorn
Capricorns, haven't you bought a helicopter yet? Then the stars do not even know how you will move - you cannot even call traffic jams, just a crowd of agitated cars and furious drivers. What to do - this is such a busy week. If things don't wait, leave the car in the garage and take the tram. The passengers are smiling in a spring-like manner, the conductor has not moved away from the women's holiday and instead of tickets she presents everyone with lilies of the valley and tulips. There is a different story about the carriage driver - the driver dashingly rushes along the rails, calls the depot and poses anecdotes. And why worry - he is not afraid of traffic cops and dismissal (who else will go for a ridiculous salary for this nervous job?).
Aquarius
Aquarians, this week pedestrian eyes are shining brighter than traffic lights, grandmothers are especially trying - maybe they smeared the lenses with phosphorus? In fact, everything is simple - old women are in anticipation of the summer cottage season (for older people, time goes faster, so pensioners are already running around with seedlings and seedlings - they are not afraid of frosty days and snowdrifts on the plots). But you have absolutely nowhere to rush - there are crosswords in the glove compartment, a deck of cards, a brazier and a pork thigh in the trunk. Even the stars are jealous, so do not be surprised if the traffic cops stop you, attracted by the smell of fresh meat (the patrolmen are ready to leave the post and rush after you to the barbecue).
Fishes
Pisces, road luck - a capricious lady, but next to you she becomes sweet and obedient. Traffic cops waving striped sticks affably, pedestrians politely let you pass, even if a green traffic light is flashing for them, and drivers are not going to overtake you. Are you exactly observing the speed limit, or are you transferred to a rocket? Of course, for our roads, a rocket is an ideal option, you can also move in a balloon or on a carpet in a helicopter. Only it's cold, you can't turn on the stove on a flying carpet. Although, you can take Hottabych into the passengers, the old man will figure out how to keep warm. The main thing is to do without alcohol, because there is also DPS in the air (angels in uniforms have long sat on the clouds).
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