The content of the article:
- Auto horoscope from April 30 to May 6
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Crayfish
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fish
Only this spring, only in this April-May period, the stars have a special offer for everyone who is driving - unforgettable trips along wonderful roads await us. Well, if someone has to move through bumps and potholes, then let them make claims to the utilities - heaven is not to blame here. Meteorologists these days calmed down a bit and stopped scaring them with rains and sleet - let's take advantage of the situation and enjoy a fast ride. Horses whinnying and beating with four hooves merrily - but what, roll yourself, enjoy life and celebrate the holiday of labor. In general, labor, May, peace - and it does not matter in what order, as long as the fines are not issued and the roads are looked after better.
Auto horoscope from April 30 to May 6
Aries
Aries, the iron horse is quite happy with his condition, but the coachman was mocking something. We are talking about you - do not load the machine with grumbling, it is better to look in the mirror - it looks like you have a tail behind you. And this is not the tail of a four-wheeled mare - admit it, who got nasty in a traffic jam? Or it was the boss who decided to see if you are spending government gasoline for personal needs. By the way, be attentive to the zebras - among the pedestrians there are the lions of Boniface, Winnie the Pooh and even the frog princess (you don't need to kiss them, they won't turn into beauties). In early May, people celebrate the birthday of Fyodor Khitruk - several generations of car enthusiasts have grown up on the creations of the famous animator.
Taurus
Taurus, a difficult road behind, evil traffic cops disappeared around the bend, and in front there is only a road tale full of miracles and fun. But do not read the horoscope aloud - your car is not in the mood, and is skeptical of all predictions. But the machine is delighted when it stands in the garage and watches the program "The investigation was conducted" on an old TV. Just look, he will begin to parody his favorite Leonid Kanevsky, because this spring week the actor and host has a birthday. If only your horse does not begin to investigate and find out where the old seat covers have disappeared. The four-wheeled capricious will not forgive you for putting these capes on rags.
Twins
Gemini, empty the trunk of the bullshit and stock up on the essentials. So, write down: this spring week on the road you will need a toothbrush, towels, shorts, sneakers, a fishing rod and, of course, a tent (well, so as not to huddle in the car and not spend the night in the open air). Yes, yes, you have to play the role of a traveler, because you do not spend time in a stuffy city or in a boring garage. Do not throw away any advertising leaflets that you slip in traffic jams and roadside cafes. Spam's birthday is celebrated on Thursday in May, and this phenomenon is already 40 years old. Your car knows that spam is actually canned meat (your horse is like an educated lady).
Crayfish
Cancers, be patient and do not react to rudeness - well, what to do if this is our trouble (after fools and roads). By the way, on these spring days you will be able to choose your fellow travelers on your own. Give a lift to cheerful old women with seedlings, or slow down near a sad voting traffic cop (if he is without a baton, then he is not at work). But do not stop next to the idlers - this May Friday, the guys celebrate the day on which a decree was adopted to strengthen the fight against parasitism. All these alcoholics, parasites and hooligans will ride for free, they will also steal buns from the glove compartment and take the lighter away. And the machine does not tolerate lazy people and prefers to carry hardworking guys.
A lion
Lions, the stars built the route for you, the path was filled with asphalt - it remains to fill up with high-quality gasoline and move on a long journey. Do not forget about the warning from heavenly bodies: at the beginning of May it will be lively on the highways, so repeat all the rules and read the new laws invented by the authorities. And on these spring days, gungans, droids and chewbaccos are jumping on zebras - no one went crazy, just Star Wars fans went for a walk. It's no surprise that all the traffic cops call themselves noble Jedi - the patrol guys love this movie and celebrate Star Wars day on a grand scale. May the force be with them, so long as they do not ask for money and why the cars haven’t been slowed down in vain.
Virgo
Virgo, count your cash and hit the road - this week the drivers of your sign are waiting for serious expenses. A thousand for gasoline, a hundred for a pie, a dozen for coffee - and the salary will fly away unnoticed. But your caring iron horse has found a way out - give a lift to everyone who votes, you look - you will like it, and you will retrain into taxi drivers. But do not bring old women with shopping bags and boxes - they have nothing but seedlings, except that they will show a pension certificate, because you will not be full of them. It is also better not to slow down around the grimy uncles with brooms - in England they celebrate the chimney sweep festival, and since there is no fireplace in your car, then these guys have nothing to do in the salon.
Scales
Libra, your car has a lot of talents, but the iron horse doesn't like to show off. But at night the machine is odd - it starts singing with an alarm, then the engine hums, then it sneezes with the exhaust pipe. The four-wheeled buddy is just trying to get your attention, but don't spoil the friend, otherwise you will have to spend the night in the cabin and tell machine stories until the morning. If at the end of this spring week you meet strange traffic cops, do not offend the guys and do not twist the baton at their temples. The patrol guys celebrate Sigmund Freud's birthday and read psychology books. If only they would not plunge into the subconscious and not sound their dreams. The cars are all right with brains, so drive calmly and do not get distracted.
Scorpion
Scorpions, there was a rumor that soon all cars will have engines of a new generation, and we will move exclusively by air. True, no one specified the time of these wonderful transformations - we will wait three hundred years, then we will see. In the meantime, jump behind the wheel and head to some small village. Talk about politics with a tractor driver, discuss price increases with a local saleswoman, but do not disregard the iron horse. And then the village children will run up and smear your car with onions - people celebrate Luke's day. Although, let them indulge - maybe the traffic cops get in from the onion smell and will not bother with all sorts of nonsense.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, real drivers can be happy behind the wheel of old Zhiguli, and you are just one of them - what's the difference, be the owner of a fancy Jeep or the owner of a nondescript Niva. After all, while the wheels are spinning and the engine hums, everything is wonderful, and this spring week it will be even better. By the way, do not give up the night walks at the end of April. The paths are lit not only by the moon and lanterns - candles are lit everywhere and celebrate the international day of the candlestick. But warn the car - it will suddenly think that these wild animals are sparkling with their eyes and want to drag it into a dark dense forest (the iron horse is panicky afraid of wolves and other creatures, including traffic cops).
Capricorn
Capricorns, enjoy the silence while you can - April is over, May has begun, and the roads are pretty busy. There are restless old women with string bags stuffed with seedlings and bricks (to fend off dacha hooligans), and dashing motorcyclists who do not know the rules, and nervous traffic cops who dream of ripping off anger in the first car they come across.The stars advise you to stay in the garage at all - wash the horse, comb its mane (if you find it), disperse the mice and cats. At the same time, knock the dust out of the old Za Rulem magazines. And then you can walk the wheelbarrow, but do not be surprised when you meet funny rabbits. The guys celebrate Kirkorov's birthday and sing the song "My Bunny".
Aquarius
Aquarius, pure zebras, shining traffic lights - babble and nothing more. It remains to wash the cars and dress the traffic cops - after all, May is on the nose, and you need to comply. Although, some drivers have not May on their nose, but mud - in many regions the weather conditions are too spring: with puddles, slush and other delights. But the stars were not going to load you with meteorological nonsense - sit in a chair and steer where the headlights are looking. When you meet three gentlemen who are dragging a boat and a dog with them, do not try to give them a lift and do not find out why they need such a load. The guys celebrate Jerome K. Jerome's birthday and reread Three in a Boat (not counting the dog, of course).
Fish
Fish, the authorities are trying to improve traffic lights, traffic cops strive for the ideal, and only our brother-chauffeur cannot get out of the mud - as soon as you find a clean place, a new puddle or a mountain of garbage will immediately take it. The stars say that this is not for long - the time for dry roads, well-groomed sidewalks and polite road users is about to come. In the meantime, hold on to the wheel - the situation on the tracks these spring days will be difficult. Either an obstacle course, now an island of bad luck, or even the rod knows what. Although these are flowers - be careful when driving over bridges. Every now and then, divers with balls and flowers jump out of the rivers - nothing strange, because in Russia they celebrate the day of the diver.
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